So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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