Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i came on her dog
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will be naked everywhere
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
