You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
