so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
