i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
