We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
