i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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