We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
