p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
