ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
