I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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