how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
