Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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