Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
