my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
