if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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