She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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