holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
