I CAN MOONWALK!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
