I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
