So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
