Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
