Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cockslap morals
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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