4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
