There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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