I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
