oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
