this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize