I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
