I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
