break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
