sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
