loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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