Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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