you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
