So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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