im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
