Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
