No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize