You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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