Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
