I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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