Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
