That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
