i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
