Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
