I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
