yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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