I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
