I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize