yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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