we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
There are leaves in my underwear?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
