Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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