i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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