Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize