pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
