M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
