the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
