Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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