Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
