we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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