wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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