I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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